Re: [TCLUG:14183] [OT][Humor] WINDOWS SOURCE CODE!

["Erick Stohr" <visuale1@earthlink.net>]

ouch, you caught me, my linux box is down right now, I am doing a new
install tonight and had to use my win box, which i do use occasionally, all
this one has is Netscape 4.0, which is ancient (downloading netscape 4.72 as
we speak). I used outlook for the, honestly, second time in my life. :O)
-----Original Message-----
From: Mike Hicks <hick0088@tc.umn.edu>
To: tclug-list@mn-linux.org <tclug-list@mn-linux.org>
Date: Thursday, March 02, 2000 5:46 AM
Subject: Re: [TCLUG:14183] [OT][Humor] WINDOWS SOURCE CODE!


>Erick Stohr wrote:
>>
>> I hope some people get a kick out of this.
>>
>
>Hmm.. I wonder if Outlook has some code to detect Windows jokes and
>screw up the formatting.. :-p
>
>BTW -- this won't compile, even if those functions and headers did exist
>in some way...
>
>===
>/*  Source Code to Windows 2000   */
>#include "win31.h"
>#include "win95.h"
>#include "win98.h"
>#include "workst~1.h"
>#include "evenmore.h"
>#include "oldstuff.h"
>#include "billrulz.h"
>#include "monopoly.h"
>#define INSTALL = HARD
>
>char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
>
>void main() {
>  while(!CRASHED) {
>    display_copyright_message();
>    display_bill_rules_message();
>    do_nothing_loop();
>    if (first_time_installation) {
>      make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
>      do_nothing_loop();
>      totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
>      search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
>      make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
>      disable_Netscape();
>      disable_RealPlayer();
>      disable_Lotus_Products();
>      hang_system();
>    }
>    write_something(anything);
>    display_copyright_message();
>    do_nothing_loop();
>    do_some_stuff();
>    if (still_not_crashed) {
>      display_copyright_message();
>      do_nothing_loop();
>      basically_run_windows_3.1();
>      do_nothing_loop();
>      do_nothing_loop();
>    }
>  }
>  if (detect_cache())
>    disable_cache();
>  if (fast_cpu()) {
>    set_wait_states(lots);
>    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
>    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
>    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
>  }
>/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");    */
>/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11");   */
>/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95");     */
>/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
>/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98");     */
>/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
>  printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
>  if (system_ok())
>    crash(to_dos_prompt)
>  else
>    system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
>  while(something) {
>    sleep(5);
>    get_user_input();
>    sleep(5);
>    act_on_user_input();
>    sleep(5);
>  }
>  create_general_protection_fault();
>===
>
>Where's the end of main()?  *shrug*
>
>
>--
> _  _  _  _ _  ___    _ _  _  ___ _ _  __   Been there, done that,
>/ \/ \(_)| ' // ._\  / - \(_)/ ./| ' /(__   got the T-shirt.
>\_||_/|_||_|_\\___/  \_-_/|_|\__\|_|_\ __)
> [ Mike Hicks | http://umn.edu/~hick0088/ | mailto:hick0088@umn.edu ]
>
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