TCLUG Archive
[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Re: [TCLUG:14183] [OT][Humor] WINDOWS SOURCE CODE!



Erick Stohr wrote:
> 
> I hope some people get a kick out of this.
> 

Hmm.. I wonder if Outlook has some code to detect Windows jokes and
screw up the formatting.. :-p

BTW -- this won't compile, even if those functions and headers did exist
in some way...

===
/*  Source Code to Windows 2000   */
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"         
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

void main() {
  while(!CRASHED) {
    display_copyright_message();
    display_bill_rules_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    if (first_time_installation) {
      make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
      do_nothing_loop();
      totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
      search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
      make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
      disable_Netscape();
      disable_RealPlayer();                      
      disable_Lotus_Products();
      hang_system();
    } 
    write_something(anything);
    display_copyright_message();
    do_nothing_loop();
    do_some_stuff();
    if (still_not_crashed) {
      display_copyright_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      basically_run_windows_3.1();
      do_nothing_loop();
      do_nothing_loop();
    }
  }
  if (detect_cache())                  
    disable_cache();
  if (fast_cpu()) {
    set_wait_states(lots);
    set_mouse(speed, very_slow);            
    set_mouse(action, jumpy);
    set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
  }
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1");    */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11");   */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95");     */             
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98");     */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */              
  printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
  if (system_ok())
    crash(to_dos_prompt)
  else
    system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
  while(something) {
    sleep(5);
    get_user_input();
    sleep(5);
    act_on_user_input();
    sleep(5);
  }
  create_general_protection_fault();
===

Where's the end of main()?  *shrug*


-- 
 _  _  _  _ _  ___    _ _  _  ___ _ _  __   Been there, done that, 
/ \/ \(_)| ' // ._\  / - \(_)/ ./| ' /(__   got the T-shirt. 
\_||_/|_||_|_\\___/  \_-_/|_|\__\|_|_\ __)                             
 [ Mike Hicks | http://umn.edu/~hick0088/ | mailto:hick0088@umn.edu ]