I think I figured out what's wrong with my iPod. Turns out the iPod works just fine on other machines, just not mine. I hooked up an old USB MP3 player/ext. hard drive, and it has the exact same effect on Windows that my iPod now does. For some reason my computer has some anger management issues it needs to work out with Breezy Badger CDs ordered from Ubuntu's website, so I grabbed a .iso of the LiveCD off BitTorrent, and I now have a reliable LiveCD of Ubuntu 5.10. After plugging my iPod into the LiveCD environment, it was just as non-functional as it is in Windows; only Linux is made of stronger stuff, so it didn't crash like Windows does. An old USB mouse of mine works fine, so I'm guessing that my USB issues apply only to mass storage devices. I have about 30 gigs worth of crap that I need to back up before I can move to Linux, and my 60 gig iPod is really the only thing I have that can get the job done. If any of you know of any diagnostic tools or methods I can run to check the state of my USB ports, either in Windows or the Ubuntu 5.10 LiveCD, please let me know. I hate my Windows installation, and have a burning desire to kick it in the gonads with the steel-toed boot of Linux. A fully functional iPod will allow me to make that burning desire a reality.