This is going further off topic but - 
A bit more digging and I find out the real reasons for monitoring...

> 
> > "...I want to limit im time, see all im messages to and from, see all
> > emails, and see all websites visited
> 
> god gawds... why? WHY?
>

And I quote:
"....A "bad" website hasn't been accessed for a long time; I think
that curiosity is beyond her now.  The biggest concern right now is
aim'ing.  She's hooked and spends way too much time chatting with
anyone and working on her damn buddy profile.  I discovered she had a
picture of herself on there...
She's not that smart about trying to get around the parental's
controls, and is very forthcoming when we ask what she's up to.  She
gets bored and has recently started chatting with strangers which is
alarming.  ...."

"....So basically I'm looking for chat monitoring software that will only
allow conversation with buddies we know and will schedule when chat
will work and when it won't...."

I agree that empowering anyone with knowledge is the best defense you
can give - I have suggested as much - but at the same time some safe
guards may be appropriate. Kinda like you wouldn't drop off your child
6 blocks from school in a dark alley at night and let them walk the
rest of the way - just to attend a lock-in or something.... probably
not a good example, but hope you catch the drift....  you do what you
can to an extend to make sure they are relatively safe - let them
learn the lessons when the consequences are not life threatening or
life endangering.