I didn't want to bother the list any further, and if worst comes to
worst, I might bring in my machine at the installfest to hash some of
this out, but I haven't been getting much in the way of replies at the
forums, and in some cases my emails to people are bouncing, so....

1) Setting up wireless card on my wife's laptop

You can check this out for the full synopsis, but the final gist is:
http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=174118

$ sudo /etc/init.d/ifplugd start
* Starting Network Interface Plugging Daemon... [fail]
$ sudo /etc/init.d/ifplugd start
* Starting Network Interface Plugging Daemon... Sorry, there is
already an instance of ifplugd for eth0 running.
Sorry, there is already an instance of ifplugd for wlan0 running.
[fail]
$ sudo /etc/init.d/ifplugd stop
* Stopping Network Interface Plugging Daemon... [ ok ]
$ sudo /etc/init.d/ifplugd start
* Starting Network Interface Plugging Daemon... [fail]
$ sudo /etc/init.d/wpasupplicant start
sudo: /etc/init.d/wpasupplicant: command not found

I went into System: Administration: Networking and the 'wireless' is
still labelled 'eth1' instead of 'wlan0' and I don't know how to
change it, cause that's what ndiswrapper is using, correct?

(for the record, the sound miraculous started working the next day, so
that's ok)

2) Setting up User Mode Linux

http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=178313

3) Setting up Samba File/Printer sharing on Windows & Ubuntu PCs/Laptops

http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?t=178991

Hope that explains everything. It's frustrating not getting replies,
and most of the similar topics on the forums have died slow deaths
without clear answers. If you can help out, even a little, on any one
of these three topics, I would be very thankful. God bless

                             -jordan