On Fri, 28 Jan 2005, John Meier wrote: > Ok - I got a buddy who wants to limit his daughters online time ... in > his words: > > "...I want to limit im time, see all im messages to and from, see all > emails, and see all websites visited I didn't want to steal your thread so I made a new one. I have a son who is almost 13 years old. I'm wondering if it would be wise to monitor what he does. I'm not sure what the arguments are about this, but I'd guess it's something like "pedophiles trick children into meeting them, then they kill or abuse the kids" versus "even children should have their privacy." Are there more angles to this debate? My feeling, right now, is that kids want to be able to communicate openly with friends and do things that are not allowed by parents. They need to do *some* things that parents don't allow, don't they? Our parents didn't monitor our phone calls, right? What are the chances that unmonitored computer use will cause serious damage to a teenager? Obviously, the internet is loaded with porn and it isn't hard for kids to find it, if that's what they want. The stuff I could get at when I was a kid was much more tame (e.g., Playboy, Penthouse or sometimes Hustler). Still, does the porn harm the child? We might think it is wrong, but I have to wonder how badly kids are affected by it. We all want to guide our kids - lead them into happy productive lives and we would feel badly if they took a wrong turn and we did nothing. On the other hand, we know that if we push too hard we can get resistance that harms them even more. Where to draw the line? I'm sorry if this will turn into a massive unending argument. That's not what I want. I'd rather be directed to some good resources, or maybe you can reply with brief thoughts on this either on- or off-list. Best, Mike -- Michael B. Miller, Ph.D. Assistant Professor Division of Epidemiology and Community Health and Institute of Human Genetics University of Minnesota http://taxa.epi.umn.edu/~mbmiller/