Thought all would enjoy this... > Wow. This is a spoof on what *could* happen if mergers of technology go > too far. It doesn't sound that far out of reality, unfortunately... > > Dana x4043 > > > HELL ON WHEELS > > Posted May 10, 2002 01:01 PM Pacific Time > > MICROSOFT RECENTLY announced a deal with BMW to use > Windows CE in the navigation systems of its cars. That > much is reality, but what follows is my vision of a > future scenario we might expect should current > licensing trends continue. If you have been paying > attention, though, you'll realize such a future might > not be all that distant. > > FBI: Interrogation of Ms. Lisa Jones is commencing at > 3:23 pm. I am Agent Frank Murphy of the Federal Bureau > of Investigation's copyright squad. With us in the > room is Mr. Ellis Preston, counsel representing ABC > Motors Corporation. Ms. Jones, do you acknowledge that > you have been informed of your rights to have an > attorney present if you wish, and that you have agreed > to Mr. Preston's participation in this interview? > > Jones: Yes ... yes, there's just been some mistake. I > didn't do anything ... I just want to clear this up. > > Preston: Thank you, Ms. Jones, so do we. Could you just describe for us > the incident you had this morning involving your ABC Motors vehicle? > > Jones: You mean when I couldn't get the car started > again? I've been having so much trouble with that > "electronic key" ignition system lately, I've been > late to work every day this week. I was really anxious > to be on time today, so I called your emergency > service line. When they couldn't help me get the > electronic key working, I asked them how to disconnect > it so I could just start the car with the regular key. > > Preston: So you specifically asked them to help you > disconnect the electronic system. Ms. Jones, don't you understand that's a > violation of federal law? The Digital Millennium Copyright Act makes it a > crime to tamper with digital rights management technology. In asking our > service representatives to help you do that, you were asking them to be > your accomplices in infringing Microsoft's intellectual property rights. > > Jones: Copyright Act? Microsoft? What does any of that > have to do with me trying to start my car? > > Preston: When you purchased your ABC Motors vehicle, > the dashboard display presented a notice that your use > of the electronic systems was governed by an end user > license agreement with Microsoft Corporation. You were > given the opportunity to read that license agreement > right on the dashboard display before agreeing to > accept it. Did you read that agreement before you > started the car? > > Jones: I tried to, but the print was so small I had to > bend over and peer through the steering wheel. And it > was taking so long to scroll through it, I think I > just gave up and pushed the "I accept" button. The > salesman said I had to do that or I couldn't start my car. > > Preston: Yes, well, if you had read the license > agreement when you had the chance, you would have seen > that Microsoft places certain restrictions on the use > of its software that we at ABC Motors, as a Microsoft > OEM, are obligated to help enforce. > > In order to protect its intellectual property from > possible illegal transfer, Microsoft forbids you to > disconnect any part of the electronic system. > Furthermore, Microsoft reserves the right to have us > install updates to their software and their digital > rights management capabilities when you bring your car > in for service. > > Jones: When my car is serviced? Is that why I started > having all this trouble starting my car right after my > last oil change? You must have put some new software > in my car without telling me, and it's got some kind > of bug. They can't do that, can they? > > FBI: They can if it's part of your contractual > relationship with Microsoft, Miss. > > Preston: I'm not at liberty to say if there was a "bug" > as you call it, Ms. Jones. I do want to point out to > you, however, that neither Microsoft nor ABC Motors > bears any responsibility for fixing any such defects > with your vehicle. Again, if you had read your license agreement, you > would know this. > > Jones: Wait a minute. I don't know about Microsoft, but > there is no way ABC can say they aren't responsible > for any defects in my car. I have a 50,000-mile warranty. > > Preston: Indeed you do. But in order to protect its > rights under copyright law, Microsoft includes > essential system components -- such as the drive > train, brakes, tires -- as part of its license > agreement with you. Under Virginia law, which just so > happens to be the law Microsoft chose to govern your > agreement, you and Microsoft can opt to include > whatever parts you choose as part of this transaction. > But I believe that under your warranty, ABC is still responsible for any > defects in the workmanship of the floor mats. > > Jones: I can't believe this. Why wasn't I told any of > this before I bought my car? Why couldn't I have been > given a readable copy of this "license" when I was > signing all those papers in the dealership? > > Preston: It's called freedom of contract, Ms. Jones, > and it's one of your most important rights. You and > Microsoft can choose to enter into this contractual relationship in > whichever way is most mutually beneficial and convenient. > > Jones: This is insane. I don't care how big it is, > Microsoft can't treat American consumers in such a > shoddy manner. Just wait until I call the newspapers > and tell them about all this. > > Preston: Oh, dear. You really shouldn't have said the > word "shoddy," Miss Jones. Agent Murphy? > > FBI: Lisa Jones, I'm placing you under arrest for > criminal violations of the Digital Millennium > Copyright Act. > > Jones: Why? What did I do? > > Preston: You just violated the most critical terms of > your license agreement right in front of us, I'm > afraid: You disparaged Microsoft. > > - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > Disparage whomever you wish in your letters to Ed > Foster, InfoWorld's reader advocate. > Contact him at gripe at infoworld.com. > - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - > > MORE THE GRIPE LINE > For a complete archive of his InfoWorld columns visit > http://www2.infoworld.com/cgi/component/columnarchive.wbs?column=gripe > > INFOWORLD OPINIONS > Weekly commentary from the most trusted voices in > IT at: http://www.infoworld.com/community/t_opinions.html > > > To join, or start, a discussion on this or any IT-related topic, please > visit our InfoWorld forums at > http://forums.infoworld.com. Here you can interact and > exchange ideas with InfoWorld staff and other readers. >